The Comic Bunglings of a Panicked Fool.

Item 1 : who spends 250 bucks on beer with a group of relative strangers

Item 2 : who spends hours cruising gay blogs for a purported (ha) paper on representations of the male as an aestheticised object in the male gaze

Item 3: who drops ash all over her keyboard because she cannot do only one thing at a time

Item 4: who goes to the chemist and asks for nicotine gum for her professor, and then, oblivious to extremely interested onlookers, proceeds to engage the chemist in a long discussion on why gum for tobacco chewers is different from that for cigarette smokers.

Item 5: who then goes back to said professor, and engages him in a long conversation (over lunch) about the severity of withdrawal for a nicotine addict. (the same professor who spent a month in hospital battling for his life because of his smoking a couple of years ago. Oh yeah.)

Item 5: who tells the maid to make 4 paranthas and then spends the whole day wishing she had asked for 8.

Um hum, uh ha… ladies and gentlemen – I give you:

The greatest of all fools, the fool fit to be the next American president, the fool who wants to teach English in a foreign country, but can’t even read an application form correctly until the seventh try, in short, the fool who gives a bad name to fooldom…

And then, in her colossal blindness, has the nerve to talk blithely of other ‘retards’.

and if you don’t get the answer, you deserve to be my friend.