Friday, July 29, 2011

What the *beep*! broth


So this morning I'm watching Fox History and Traveler, and they're showing Kazakhstan, and I'm sitting they're going - well, the obvious "oh, that's gorgeous. I never knew. I wonder what it would take to get there?" - but also, the usual patronizing, ignorant, condescending, well, they seem pretty liberal and well-adjusted and normal: I guess it's just a regular nation with rights and stuff like that, go figure! And then the show changes to David Rocco's Dolce Vita and he's on the streets of florence, at a stall, getting this really delicious looking sub kind of thing, which he calls the firenzian equivalent of the ubiquitous american hot dog. And it looks delicious, just a bun and meat and sauce and some greens, but beautiful, you know. And they're showing how it's made, and the voiceover goes 'and then you add the boiled *beep*'. And I'm like huh? For the life of me I can't figure out what possible obscenity they could have censored there, right, and I'm literally sitting there going down a list of possible obscene cuts or pieces of meat that they could object to, though what's on screen just looks like regular meat, not any particularly identifiable possibly obscene parts you know, like balls or something. Though hey, food being food, I fail to see how even balls could be obscene enough to censor when you're going to eat them.
uh...
Anyway, so the show proceeds, and we're on a lovely stone terrace, and he's got this whole setup and he proceeds to break down the making of this wonder sandwich for us. And he starts with pulling out this luscious big healthy red chunk of beef, and proceeds to tell us how to cut it and then boil it, and keep the broth, and that's when I get it, 'coz everytime he says beef, or tries to, a big giant shrill *beep* is all over that. That's right, BEEF is the obscene word our wonderful censor board finds it absolutely imperative to obliterate, as we sit in our wonderfully liberal, modern, developing, secular democracy, watching shows about all these other 'poor third world nations', where they have no rights, and are backward, and oppressed, and absolutely sunk if they're members of some minority community, and ohmygod, how does the rest of the world live like that?!!

Anyway, just to get it out of my system, a little bit, can I please just say
BEEF

BEEF

BEEF

BEEF!!!!!

AAARGH!!!

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